Fighting Talk!

On Saturday, I’m running the Hellyer Half Marathon. It’s my goal half-marathon for the year and I’m aiming for a PR of 1.52 (my current PR is 1.53.57).

I have never felt so un-psyched for a race before in my entire life.

It’s mainly to do with the short time gap between the Bay Breeze 10k and this race. I was SO focussed on Bay Breeze, it was all I thought about (relating to running, obviously). It was the goal of all my training…with ‘ooh, and Hellyer’ tacked on the end of everything.

(Note to self/others. Don’t have two goal races a fortnight apart. At least a month!)

I have also had a very poor two week’s training since Bay Breeze. In the glow of success, I have missed two training runs. I tried to do a 12 mile long-run this Wednesday with some tempo miles thrown in but my legs were aching for some reason and I felt like the run was doing more harm than good, so I cut it short after 9 lacklustre miles, hoping that two day’s rest would make things magically better before the race. It’s unlikely. I have definitely lost the fitness edge that I had just two weeks ago.

More than that though, my head hasn’t been in the race. The forecast is wet and rainy. The course is long, straight and potentially quite boring.  This week, part of me has wanted to drop out, part of me has wanted to run it for fun. I have been mentally switching off.

And then, I thought NO.

I am NOT switching off. I am switching ON.

I am going to run this race with every once of power I can muster up from my legs and I am going to do my darndest to PR.

  • I am going to talk myself into running this race properly. I am going to talk away the doubt and the laziness and the voice inside that has already defeated me.
  • I may have mucked up the past two week’s training, but two weeks ago I was flying and I haven’t lost as much fitness as I think I have.
  • I am at least as fit as I was before San Francisco last year.
  • If I am going to run 13 miles in the rain, it will NOT be for fun, it will be for a PR!
  • I have paid good money to run this race. It is NOT a fun-run, it is a PR attempt.
  • If I’m getting up at an ungodly hour (and getting my child up too), then I am not doing this for fun but to PR.
  • I am not running a flat, straight, tree-lined course for fun as it will likely be boring. I am running it to do a job. To PR.
  • I will be chanting my mantras inside my head all the way round. ‘How bad do you want this?’. ‘Baby or Warrior?’.
  • If I PR as planned, I don’t have to try to PR again this year. I will have ticked all the boxes.
  • If I PR, I’m going to treat myself to a massive canvas print that I want for our bedroom. (Carrots work better for me than sticks.)
How good will this look as a giant canvas on the wall?
How good will this look as a giant canvas on the wall?

I clearly can’t guarantee a PR. However I can flipping guarantee that I will be running it with the goal of PR-ing. I will not wear a watch, because when I realised I wouldn’t PR at Half Moon Bay, I mentally switched off and I don’t want to do that again.  I would love to blog on Monday with a shiny new PR to tell you all about, but actually I would rather love to blog on Monday with pride in a job well done and the peace that comes from having done all I could.

I am summoning up every inch of  Fighter Girl inside me and trying to quash Sofa Girl. I am going out there to fight and to run my best. Whether or not that is enough, I can’t say. But at least I will know I’ve given it my best shot.

Wish me luck.

16 Comments Add yours

  1. NicJ says:

    Go, go, go, GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it helps you in any way, I did my 3 mile/3 hills route this morning and apparently clocked in with a 9:20 min mile across the whole run. How did that happen?! Talk about a world away from this time last year where I was trolling along at 11:10 min miles! Grab that race and PR by the scruff of the neck and show it who’s boss! Grrrrrrr (and all that!). x

    1. Cathryn says:

      You speedy creature, that’s AMAZING! Such a fantastic increase in speed in just one year, you should be so proud of that!!! Okay…grrrr…

  2. Susie M says:

    Good luck! I ran a race last weekend after nearly three weeks off with a cold. I was surprised at how well I’d held onto my fitness. Your legs might even be fresher through having had a bit more taper than you’d planned. No reason why you can’t run a great time!

    1. Cathryn says:

      Thanks for that info – that’s interesting and exciting! I think you’re right, that tomorrow will be a mental thing, not a physical thing! Thanks for the encouragement.

  3. Madeleine says:

    Just what I needed to read! I’m doing the Bath Half this weekend, a bit half-heartedly it has to be said. I’ve decided it’s my last half and I don’t feel completely ready so I just thought I’d get round. I PR’d last year when I was at my fittest, training for the London Marathon so I know there’s no chance this year so I’ve been thinking ‘what’s the point’. But now, having read your post, I’m going to give it my all, but not beat myself up too much if I don’t do as well as long as I know I did my best 🙂

    1. Cathryn says:

      I was only thinking about you the other day, lovely to hear from you. Glad this post was well timed. Yes, go and kick Bath’s arse. You can’t guarantee the time but you can take pride in doing the best you can. That’s my priority for tomorrow. I want to come back on Monday and say I did my best!! Good luck – let me know how it went. Hope the weather is better for you than it will be here (not something I say regularly).

    2. Cathryn says:

      Thank you! I shall be channeling my inner Jen (Rainstorm Running Rockstar) throughout the race! x

  4. Jen says:

    To be honest, I was a little worried about you after your dailymile posts this week… so I’m really happy to read that you’ve decided to really race this thing tomorrow! There’s no way your fitness has decreased so rapidly when you’ve still been running, even if you missed a couple of runs. Not to mention that psychological attitude has SO much to do with race day performance — you’ll surely do better going into tomorrow’s race with a positive attitude! I especially like the last bit — you might not PR (sometimes it’s just not in the cards), but fight hard and be proud! YOU GOT THIS!

    p.s. I’ll keep my fingers crossed about the weather. Looks like the storm might pass through earlier than expected… and anyway, if I can PR in the rain, you can too! 🙂

  5. Bean says:

    Definitely WARRIOR!!!! I love how you switched your attitude around! Esp. the part about doing all you can do. I am taking these thoughts with me to my marathon. Thanks for being an inspiration. Good luck!!! PR or not I am sure you are gonna run a strong race!!! But fingers crossed for a PR;).

    1. Cathryn says:

      I’ll be thinking of you too – you running Saturday or Sunday? Let’s do this!! x

  6. Heather says:

    Warrior all the way! Best of luck this weekend!

  7. Angela says:

    GOOD LUCK!!! I hope the weather cooperates for you & you’re able to go out there & KILL IT!!!

  8. BT says:

    Late to the party, but anxiously awaiting the race recap. I hope you had a great day!

    1. Cathryn says:

      It wasn’t bad (secret grin) x

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