Agony and ecstasy

It has been a weekend of high and lows. It started with the saddest email I have ever received. The darkest of tragedies had befallen one of my friends. I cried, prayed, cried a lot more and started running, hoping I could pound my sadness, and hers, into the tarmac.

I ran ten sad miles this morning. I had to not cry – if I cried, my throat closed up and I couldn’t breathe. It was a tough run; my legs were tired and by mile 5 I was feeling it. At mile 9 I wanted to stop, but I thought of my friend and ploughed on. Mile 10 was rough – slow, sore and achey. But I did it, and arrived home at mile 10 on the dot. My boys were in the pool. I was glad to see them today, and piled straight into the hot tub in my running clothes. Heaven!

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Running is both wonderful and stupid in times of sadness. It does help – there is something theraputic about grinding your legs into the ground. But at the same time, it suddenly seems so ridiculous and pointless. I think both things are important – both the comfort it gives and the sense of perspective about its futility. I’m glad I ran today.

And then on Sunday,  I was so excited by the news that Yo Momma qualified for Boston after missing the qualifying time by 20 and then 12 seconds. I was so happy for her after all the work she put in. Running can bring so much happiness too.

As regards shoes, I ran in my old Vomeros today. I didn’t think it wise to run 10 miles in brand new shoes. No aches and pains, thanks Nike. And thanks to a quick message from Jen, I found out that the Oiselle Long Rogas that I wanted were on bargain sale at Runningwarehouse!!! One pair of indigo shorts coming my way, thanks Jen.

I have been vascillating like nobody’s business as regards whether to run the Lake Chabot Half next Saturday (23rd). I’m in poor shape but I was hoping to pull off a slow 13.1. However today’s crusher of a ten miler made it obvious to me that a hilly, trail half-marathon is beyond me at the moment. However, I’ve wanted to check out Lake Chabot for ages, I’ve wanted to do a trail race for ages and I want MORE MEDALS IN 2013! So I’m going to email and ask if I can drop down to the 10k.

I have promised not to bang on about my meat-free month but if you’re at all interested in eating less meat, check out this website: ohmyveggies.com   The recipes and photography make me seriously want to get cooking now!

I spent the rest of the weekend with my dear boys. Hug your loved ones close today! We are so lucky to have people to love.

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Jen says:

    So sorry to hear about your friend. I know what you mean about running seeming pointless at times, but then I consider other things I might be doing to make myself feel better (reading stuff on the internet, watching tv/movies, stuffing my face), it seems at least more active/productive.
    I’m sure they’ll let you drop down to the 10K at Lake Chabot. I just checked out the 10K route — and I’m not trying to talk you out of downgrading, BUT I’d have to say that’s my least favorite part of the Lake. So, even if you run the 10K, just know that there are much prettier parts of Lake Chabot than that! 🙂
    Oh, and yay for the shorts! Can’t wait to get mine. We’ll be shorts twins!! (hm, does that sound weird?)

  2. Cathryn says:

    You’re so right…running isn’t pointless, it just felt so futile when I was so sad. And then I felt frivolous for buying and getting VERY excited about new shorts!! I agree about the 10k route not being exciting – for that reason i’m going to leave the decision as late as I can and then if my shoes work out and I have no more pain, I might do it anyway and just walk a bit!!!

    1. Jen says:

      Sounds like a good plan! Hope the new shoes work out for you.

  3. I find that running generally helps me in times of stress and sadness. I’m not doing much (if any) of it lately, and I miss it

    1. Cathryn says:

      Yeah, I usually find it theraputic as well. Stress definitely, sadness maybe a little less. Hope you get back out there soon. x

  4. I had one of those runs today too! Mine was just to get out of my head and did end up crying after the 11.6 mile run in my car on the way home. Sometimes pushing yourself and crying are what helps out the most. Hang in there and I hope things get better for your friend.

  5. Cathryn says:

    I’m sorry you had a sad day as well. Hope your run helped a little. x

  6. Thanks so much for being my California support crew! I’m still in shock from Saturday.

    And I’m so sorry for your friend who is having such a hard time. At least she has someone like you to be there for her. When there’s a tragedy in life, it highlights what is important–friends, family, showing love. Things like running goals, not as much.

    1. Cathryn says:

      Exactly!!! I was so excited for you, you were the highlight of the weekend!!!!

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